Wuhuu! A quarter of the year is nearly past. What had I done in these few months?

1) Work.

2) Start making earrings, anklets, necklaces and bracelets pieces for my friends. The best part of it, they are paying me money for it!! I didn't earn much, but at least I can cycle the money to buy more jewelery pieces.

3) Help my sister to recover from her depression (hopefully).

4) Went traveling to Pulau Perhentian. Heavenly beaches.

5) Help a person to propose to my mum. However, she declined.

6) Lost my handphone. Cilok my sister's. hehehe.

7) Gain additional 3 kgs to my not so slim body.

8) Start another blogsite to showcase my jewellery pieces.

9) Learn abt new products, mainly Veritas (Backup Exec) and Symantec (AV and Mail Server
for MS Exchange) suite. Hey, I can install AND configure these babies in detail. Ok, I had acquired these skills since last year, but who's counting the months? ;)

10) Realized that I need to be me. With thick glasses, big ass, warts and an attitude. If you cannot get along with me, better leave this area.

11) Another realization. I love to drink blood.


Ok, ok...not the last one. But being a vampire would be cool. At least they can wear dark colored makeup with dark clothes and only go out at night, that's why vampires look slim.

Enuf chatter.

Am reading - Rats, Bats and Vats by Dave Freer and Eric Flint. Downloaded from Baen website. I like to download e-books from the website. A lot of Sci-Fi stories. Damn yummy.

Am listening to My Hips Don't Lie by Wyclef and Shakira. Makes me want to belly dance. Alone for now, my tummy is a bit shy. 
¶ 8:55 AM
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Taken from Wikipedia

Suicide (from Latin sui caedere, to kill oneself) is the act of willfully ending one's own life. Suicide is sometimes used as a noun for one who has committed or attempted the act.



I would truthfully say that people that commit suicide are cowards. Why? Because they commit suicide when they do not want to face the world. They are afraid to face the consequences of what they had done. Or what they imagine would be the results of their actions. Or when they feel that their pain are bigger than life itself.

Then, there are people that tried to commit suicide as a form to get attention, "cry for help" if you want to call it. For these people, please, please, let us help you. Do not be stubborn and try to deny what your subconcious mind had already acknowledged. You ARE sick and required help.

Just a question, do you think that when you die, would your family rejoice? Or your friends celebrate?

Usual scenario is that the family WOULD spiral into depression. Sometimes other members of the family would also commit suicide, from the depression and guilt caused by their inability to foresee and change the history. Your friends would also be changed forever. Not to say the community where the suicide occurs. The pain WOULD grow larger, enveloping many more people. Is this what you want? To cause more life and souls to be lost?

Don't let me start on the religious angle. All of the religions in the world prohibit suicide. Please inform me if you find one that say God would like it if you kill yourself. For a Muslim, Allah would even reject their souls and forever they would be in Hell. An eternity of loss for what? Stupid choice, I would say.

I come from a broken family. I am the eldest child so the responsibility of the whole family falls on me. In addition, I need to ensure that I provide excellent example to be followed by my sisters.

Yes, I had thought of suicide many times in the past. But, I also think of all the people that would be affected by my cowardice.

So, I swim. I swim like hell. I fought with my claws and teeth to make sure that I graduated from university and my sisters get good, no, best educations that I can offer. I fought all the people and my community to ensure that no one would look askance at my mother, that she can look other people in the eye and say, even tho she is a widow, her brood excels. I fought to make sure that they got all the comforts in the world.

Think, if I commit suicide, if I lose faith and give in to my cowardice, what would happen to my family?

Someone once said that I am a swimmer. Yes my dear, I would say that I am.

I beg, if anyone of you do feel the compulsion to die, commit suicide, let go of life.... please ask for help. All is not lost. There are numerous things yet to be done, that can't be done if you die.


Listed below are a few links for assistance :

http://www.befrienders.org/
http://www.psycom.net/depression.central.suicide.html
http://www.save.org/
http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/


As for me, I live for the moment. I loved so that people know that they are loved. And if my God asked me to go tonite, these people can live with the knowledge that they are loved, and there is nothing nicer in the world than the knowledge that someone loves you.


My prayer with all of us. 
¶ 10:31 AM
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Yey!!! I passed my Veritas Enterprise Sales Specialist exam.

Veritas...opsss....Symantec Veritas is one of the leading backup solution in the world. What we learn at the training, is who to call (from Veritas) when we are stumped, how to approach the customers, what are the strength of the solution, how to propose the various solutions (man, there are many applications based on different network configurations) and how to calculate the licenses required.

There are backup solutions from LAN-based network to WAN-based. From the training (prior to the exam), I can see that the reason why Symantec acquired Veritas. It is so that they can propose end-to-end solution to the customer.

Good move.

I had been approached by customers that asked whether 'X' solution can backup their data when the data is infected? Issue is, some customers do want their data to be backed up even thought it had been infected, while some others do not. As a vendor, I need to follow the requirements set by the customer. As long as the solution can give what the customer wants, I'm happy with it. However, sometimes we need to educate the customer too. Come on lah, vendor maaaa. Kena lah jadik tenaga pengajar skets. ;)

The songs in my head,
1) Shakira feat Wyclef - My Hips Don't Lie
2) Nickelback - Faraway
3) Kanye West feat Adam Levine (Maroon 5) - Heard 'Em Say

Currently reading Stars over Stars by K.D Wentworth. 
¶ 5:12 PM
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Work today, nearly all of my office mates works today. Surprise...surprise. Esok cuti, pun ari nih keja? Hehehe, cam aku jugak la. Kena draft up maintenance sheet for a client. Sempat siap agaknya.

Kaki aku sakit balek. Padan muka. On Saturday, gatal pergi jalan dari Ampang Park to KLCC. Kononnya nak save a few cents, terus sakit balik Archilles tendons aku. Now, terhencot-hencot balik.

Esok, besday opismet aku, Fahroe. Selamat menjadi tua. Hehehe. Semoga panjang umur dan murah rezeki. Bila dah banyak rezeki, jangan lupa kawan pulak. ;)

Tak baca aper-aper lagik. But baru dapat buku compilation Stephen King. Would surely start reading that tomorrow.

Otak ada lagu La Tortura by Shakira. Sexy minah tuh. 
¶ 11:16 AM
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Last 2 days pergi Veritas Enterprise Sales Specialist training and exam. Hopefully pass. hehehe. Dah tua, kenot remember anymore.

Another of my blogsite featuring my bracelets/necklace/chokers/earrings/anklets had been completed. Please go to Chic-Lady for the pixs.


Completed reading ShadowFires. Story abt a guy that want to live forever, injected himself with a serum that causes him to rise from the dead. However, the serum causes his body to metamorph into hideous creature.


Song in my head - Still Lyla by Oasis. 
¶ 3:03 PM
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The other Archilles tendon of my right leg had got the same symptom of her sister (left leg). What, go strike on me ka? Anyway, life has to go on. Jom gi MPK. Hahahaha. (crazy laugh)


James Blunt - Goodbye My Lover Lyrics

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

In my head : Lyla and The Importance of Being Idle by Oasis & Goodbye My Lover by James Blunt. 
¶ 9:20 AM
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Someone stole my handphone!!

Just happened abt half an hour ago. I was travelling via Komuter, at the KL Sentral station when I heard a ringing just like the notes on my handphone. But halfway through the song, it was cut off. Since I need to go out of the Komuter, I waited until at the station, then tried to find my handphone. It was not there!!! In the meantime, the Komuter had already leave the station.

My suspicion is that whomsoever take the handphone, was flabbergasted when it started ringing. However, since the Komuter is so jam packed, and I need to go out at KL Sentral station, he successfully got the handphone.

I tried to call, but got only my voicemail.

Damned to whomsoever that took my handphone! May he/she rot in HELL! And his/her hand fell on the floor, rotten one by one. Come to think of it, the hands should be followed by feet, nose and whatever dangling flesh that is currently connected to the body.

May it all fall down, rotten!!



But a blessing, is that the person actually left my pda alone. It was on top of the phone, and he left it alone. Thank God. For that stupidity, may his mind and brain are left intact for a long, long, long, long, long time. 
¶ 8:24 AM
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